Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Wow, this is a long one, so prepare yourself! Take an eye break every few minutes so that you don't go blind from all the random things I'm saying as I try and string my jumbled thoughts into words and complete sentences :)

Things around here have been crazy! No posts from me for over a year. That should tell you how great I am with talking about my life! Things happen daily and I think "I should really blog about this" and then the moment passes and I forget all about writing it down. I told myself I would blog when I had something truly wonderful to say and I suppose that has finally happened in a couple of different ways.

First of all some of you know and some of you don't but Kaleb and I had been trying to conceive for about 2 1/2 years. Right after Carter was born we both felt like we should start trying again to have another baby. It seems crazy and believe me, I thought so too. I wasn't completely sure it was the right thing until I realized the reason we needed to start trying again so soon was because it looked like I would have some infertility issues. That also seemed crazy to me since getting pregnant with Carter happened so suddenly and somewhat accidentally. But Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways and a refiners fire I had to face in my life was desperately wanting another baby for 2+ years and not being able to have one while every friend around me had one (and sometimes 2!) while I was left barren and broken. I felt a lot of self pity and didn't feel like I was fulfilling my divine duty as a woman on this earth. It was quite a difficult few years full of tears and a constant and draining emotional roller coaster of feelings. I found a fertility doctor early on and she worked with me through different health issues that were new since having Carter and we started treatments to help me conceive. One of the most comforting (and saddest) parts was the fact that I wasn't alone. My best friend was going through the same thing after having 3 children of her own and it was so nice to have someone who actually understood what I was feeling to talk to.

After so many months of trying and failing I finally found out I was pregnant! There were so many happy emotions and my heart was so full of joy I thought it would burst until I found out that my best friend was also expecting! Just like with our last boys, our next babies are due within a week of each other! I truly and honestly believe that Heavenly Father knew what we would be facing and gave us each other to be able to comfort and strengthen each other through such a sad and depressing time. But oh the happiness we both feel now!! I am due at the beginning of February and am literally counting down the days. To top it all off, yesterday we went in for my 20 week ultrasound and found out the gender of the baby. I told myself it didn't matter what the gender was, I was just happy to be having a baby at all. I didn't mind having another boy because I love Carter so much and he brings me so much happiness each and every day. But secretly I really wanted a girl and always have. I think Kaleb deep deep down wanted a little baby girl as well even though he played it cool and said it didn't matter to him. Well we went in for the ultrasound and this baby just kept moving and squirming all over the place! The ultrasound tech was so funny and kept talking to the baby and telling it that it was being a naughty baby and it needed to stop dancing and playing around. The tech was having a hard time seeing all the things on her little checklist that she needed to see including the heart and certain bones that rule out diseases and down syndrome etc. We finally had to hold my stomach with our hands in certain places so that the baby would stop moving and so that the tech could get a clear picture. After what seemed like forever the tech finally showed us the body parts we had been waiting to see and told us that it is.... a GIRL! I was so so so happy and could not contain my grin for the whole rest of the day. Seriously, I walked around with this slap happy look on my face. Right after we left the doctors office, Kaleb (yes Kaleb was the one) asked me if I wanted to go shopping to buy some girl things. Uh, heck yeah! We may have been jumping the gun, but I don't care! There were sales going on, and I wanted to buy some girl stuff! I couldn't help but notice the whole time we were shopping Kaleb kept finding the shirts and onesies that said things like "Daddies little girl" and "Daddies princess" while he had a goofy smile on his face. Yeah, he is happy we are having a girl too :)

In other big exciting news Kaleb has a new job. His job at BYU-Idaho was great and has done well for us for over 3 years but it was time for us to move on. He now has a job with the church again working in Salt Lake City. This is exactly where Kaleb wants to be and has always loved working for the church. He will also have more opportunities to shine and to eventually move up into a position he just loves and wants to be in for the rest of his life, which is not something he could have done at BYUI. We will eventually move down to Utah but for now he will be working from here in Rigby at home until we can sell our house. And in this economy it could take a while to sell it and still get a reasonable amount for it. The biggest thing is that we do not want to lose money on our house so we are willing to stay here for as long as it takes to get an offer we can live with. We haven't put our house on the market yet so we will see how it goes! I have never had to sell a house before and it seems like this huge effort that I really don't want to have to deal with but you gotta do what you gotta do right? Right now I have already started packing up little things that I have no need for anytime soon or other things that are in the way and look messy. We have also started to clean up our yard so that it looks ultra nice for any potential buyers... If anyone has any tips on how to make a somewhat empty house look more welcoming and cozy I could sure use the suggestions!

The last big thing is that Carter just started preschool a few weeks ago. He is still pretty young, not quite 3 years old yet, but I knew I would be going to school this fall and I wanted him to learn while I was learning too and preschool seemed like the best choice. Carter just loves it! He is always telling me something new that amazes me and constantly talks about Miss Jaime and all of his friends at school. He is growing up way too fast for my liking and sometimes it makes me sad. He seems so big already although it doesn't feel like too long ago that he was just a twinkle in my eye. I know the next 18 years are going to go by in the blink of an eye and I want to savor all the little moments with him as much as I can. He is soooooo excited to be a big brother. He has wanted a sister for as long as I can remember even before I was pregnant. Words cannot even describe how happy he is that it is actually a girl in my belly! He talks non stop about it and his favorite thing to do it yell at my belly (He doesn't think the baby can hear him if he simply talks normally) and tell his baby sister all the things that he has done in the day or about Jesus. He is too precious for words! And I know I will feel the same about this little girl too so I feel so overwhelmingly blessed for all that I have. Its been a whirlwind the past few months and everything seems so new and different. We have all of these new adventures beginning in our lives and I can't wait to get started!